“Hands in the air!” Nerdstafari’s Top 10 Sci-fi Guns

By Max & Ben

The Nerdstafari boys love their sci-fi tech. They love the inventive creations that the minds of designers come up with. Most of all, they love how absolutely fabulous sci-fi weaponry is, specifically in the case of firearms. With this in mind, we have, for your reading pleasure, compiled a list of everything from the O.G. of sci-fi pistols, to a weapon with enough destructive force to bring the Devil to his knees. Join us now as we celebrate our favorite boomsticks as we present…

Top 10 Sci-Fi Guns

10.) ZF-1 (The Fifth Element)

Bruce Willis had a super being sidekick, but Zorg had the craziest super-gun this side of Alpha Centuri. The ZF-1 was everything from a machine gun, to a grenade launcher, to handheld failsafe. When carried by someone who knew how to use it, the ZF-1 not only looked mean, it was mean. Unfortunately, the push of a button causes a huge damn explosion, making the careless splattered around the room.

This certainly isn't the Stones.

This certainly isn’t the Stones.

9.) Mk 2 Lancer Assault Rifle (Gears of War)

Gears of War’s Locust species are built to last. Their hide literally deflects small arms fire and their ability to burrow underground and launch surprise attacks was feared by humans after Emergence Day. These guys are tough, but it’s nothing the Mk 2 Lancer can’t handle. Let’s face it, this thing is hardcore. It’s got a friggin’ chainsaw bayonet for God’s sake! What’s not to like about buzz-sawing an enemy into chunks?

No, Seriously It's a chainsaw...

No, Seriously It’s a chainsaw…

8.) ARC Gun (District 9)

Those poor Prawns. What could be worse than being forced to live in a slum? Our human race found that out when an unlucky member of our species was genetically crossed with the aliens via some gnarly ooze. Finally able to wield the ARC Gun, which is coded to the aliens’ DNA, there was no running when the Prawns took the offensive.

Even the mousiest little bureaucrat looks hardcore with this baby.

Even the mousiest little bureaucrat looks hardcore with this baby.

7.) Deckard’s Gun (Blade Runner)

The classic Blade Runner introduced a large audience to the cyberpunk theme. Replicants, dystopian societies, and more neon than Vegas filled the screen. Along with this delightfully dreary world came the gun that renegade androids would learn to fear. Rick Deckard’s gun, unique and stylish, has become a cult hit. Versions of it have appeared in nearly every Fallout game. Named “That Gun” in the series, gamers eagerly acquire this gun to add to their collection.

Who knew so the amount of neon in society was directly correlated to how miserable the people were.

Who knew the amount of neon in society was directly correlated to how miserable the people were?

6.) Lawgiver (Judge Dredd)

There is a reason why Dredd thinks he’s the law. When you wield a voice responsive gun that can fire multiple types of munitions you can’t help but be Judge, Jury, and especially Executioner. Let’s not forget this weapon is also imprinted with the Judge’s identity, making any person stupid enough to grab it instantly regret their decision. No one dares mess with Judge Dredd, and there is a strong possibility the Lawgiver is a good part of it.

You have no idea how hard it was to avoid, "I am the Law!" Appearing in this article...oops.

You have no idea how hard it was to avoid, “I am the Law!” Appearing in this article…oops.

5.) M41A Pulse Rifle (Aliens)

They mostly come out at night…mostly.

And when they do come out, those slimy xenomorphs are going to meet a hail of gunfire from the M41A Pulse Rifle. Standard issue for Colonial Marines, the grunts on the Sulacco put these babies through their paces. Tearing through those bug swarms, the iconic squeal of the Pulse Rifle is easily recognized by fans and non-fans alike. Plus, with an option to attach an under-barrel slung grenade launcher, even the bravest alien warrior would cower away if this gun emptied a clip in their direction.

Game over, man.

Game over, man.

4.) Noisy Cricket (Men in Black)

Agent J scoffed at this little devil when he was first handed it. Little did J know that the universe’s smallest pip-squeak packed the galaxy’s biggest boom. Knocking the MIB agent flat on his hind end, the Noisy Cricket produced an energy blast that would be powerful enough to take out a platoon of soldiers. Never judge a book by its cover is the old adage, considering what J found out about this miniscule sidearm, perhaps there is some real truth to that statement.

His face says it all.

His face says it all.

3.) DL-44 Blaster Pistol [customized] (Star Wars)

Wielded by the Galaxy’s greatest scoundrel, the DL-44 Blaster Pistol is the Star Wars version of the handheld cannon. Though technically, Han Solo’s DL-44 is customized with his own special mods, this doesn’t take away from its power and intimidating profile. A favorite of pirates, smugglers, crime lords, and even Galactic governments, the Dl-44 gives its barer a feeling of power and strength and causes anyone looking down the barrel to need a new pair of pants.

I think Harrison Ford demands kickass guns as part of his rider.

I think Harrison Ford demands kickass guns as part of his rider.

2.) Phaser (Star Trek)

Let’s face it; the phaser is one of the most iconic sci-fi weapons to ever be created. Unassuming, elegant, and sleekly ergonomic, the phasers of Star Trek carry a lot of punch in a little package. Multiple power levels allow for everything from a stunning blast to a full on disintegration ray. Held in the capable hands of Star Fleet personnel this little beauty could put any other firearm to shame. Keeping with the shiny and stylish themes of the 24th century, the phaser is our #2 because of its class as well as its destructive power.

So simple, even a Red Shirt can use it.

So simple, even a Red Shirt can use it.

1.) BFG 9000 (Doom)

You enter the arena of Hell. Fires burn, the rock beneath your feet looks to be made of the corpses of your comrades. The smell of burning flesh and the screams of the damned whip around you in a torrent of pain and suffering. Suddenly in the distance a monstrosity appears as if teleporting from the worst pit of Tartarus. A mangled mess of demonic machinery, the Cyberdemon thunders towards you spewing rockets and fear. But you stay strong, grip the trigger of your massive weapon and smile…You’ve got the BFG 9000.

The baddest of the bad, the BFG 9000 – supposedly an acronym for Big F*ckin’ Gun – this massive piece of futuristic devastation can clear a room full of demons in a single, bright green flash. In essence a handheld WMD, this beast made a gamer’s terrified run through the gates of Hell into a full on charge into the face of unspeakable odds. This gun made you a god, and that’s why it is our #1.

It's not penis envy, it's just that damn badass.

It’s not penis envy, it’s just that damn badass.

Honorable Mention: This list would never have been created without the XZ-31 Rocket Pistol. Carried by the great Buck Rodgers in the 25th century. The design of this blaster influenced nearly every subsequent generation and spurred on the advancement of prop design and creativity. No sci-fi weapon list would ever be complete without mentioning the trusty sidearm of one of the first interstellar space heroes.

We owe it all to you, sir.

We owe it all to you, sir.

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